my mom's cookbook

With the new year resolution of cooking six nights a week, I've been looking through lots of recipes.  On my menu right now are all things that I can make without really thinking about it, but I thought that my family might like to have a little bit of versatility rather than having the same dishes over and over again.  I've been looking on the internet, mostly at kraft foods or spark recipes.  I have tons of cookbooks, but I rarely go through them.  They just seem so overwhelming.  Because I really don't enjoy cooking, I don't like to spend much time in the kitchen.  I think that it's a matter of getting bored.  With that in mind, I'm a little weird when I look at recipes.  If there are any spices that I don't normally use, I skip it.  If it has any instructions like saute or anything like that, I skip it.  I just don't want to have to spend any time on food.  I love my slow cooker.  I like my casserole dishes.  I do not like using the stove top.  You may call me lazy, and that's okay.  I would just rather spend my time doing other things than cook.  I really have to be in the right mood to do it.  I'm trying, though.  I recently got my mom's cookbook, and I've been looking to it for inspiration.  I know that she was a great cook.  I can't say that I actually remember anything that she made (aside from my sixth birthday cake), but I've heard stories from so many people.  I sat down and flipped through the pages for a while last night.  At one point, I broke down in tears.  I just wish that I could have experienced moments with her in the kitchen.  Would I have actually enjoyed the cooking experience if it equated happy memories with my mom?  I saw the splashes on the pages by the recipes that I imagine she must have used more often.  I wanted so much to find recipes that had her handwriting by them with alterations to tweak it to her specifications.  With a quick flip through, I found none; however, there was one recipe card in her script.  It's been 25 years since she's been gone.  The things that I remember about her could be counted only on my fingers.  I wish that I had multiple memories.  I know that I am more fortunate than my younger sister who has no memories as she was only three when mom passed.  I know that the events that happened were part of God's plan, and I'm okay with that.  I just really miss her sometimes.  I wonder about the type of person that I would be if she were still here.  I wonder if I would still be the person that I am today or if the events of my life would pan out the same.  I truly believe that things happen for a reason, but I'm often jealous of people who have their moms.   I am so grateful for who she was and the legacy that she left.  I guess going through the cookbook brought up some emotions that I really wasn't expecting.  I'm so happy to have it.  I know that my sisters would have liked it as well, so I'm grateful that they let me keep it, despite me being the one who really doesn't like to cook.